FUC51

Mani Rants and We Briefly Oil The Creaking Hinge

2010-09-09T10:30:00.009+01:00

Stone Roses, Primal Scream and no longer Freebasser Mani, has gone on a huge Twitter rant provoking FUC51 to peer out from the duvet and share his rallying cry against a certain someone who has been something of a target on these very pages. Is the Manc old guard finally turning on itself like a shark attacking its own wound? Read over for Mani's diatribes.

Click here to follow Mani on Twitter

Here are Mani's rants against Peter Hook (all [sic]):

"3 things visible from space, great wall of china, peter hooks wallet stuffed with ian Curtis blood money, man citys empty trophy cabinet !."

"quite disgusting and very crass and self centred violation of memories for personal financial gain. Scummy behaviour really"

"he ain't got time for me now he's getting fortunes for dragging his mates cadaver round the world getting himself paid. Thank fuck"

"used to adore the man, now he's a self centred sellout reduced to hawking his mates corpse around to get paid. And he can't play"

"I'm fine, dunno about the vulture who is ravenously devouring the last morsels of putrid flesh from Wilson/Curtis bones [...] I'm getting back with the "real"players tomorrow thank fuck. Can't be doing with talentless nostalgia fuckwit whores."

"and I haven't even started on the cunts amateur night, one trick pony shite 2 string bass playing yet either. Used to laugh [...] we were all laughing behind his back watching the stupid wank struggle to do the same old shit he's done for the last 30 years !!"

On Freebass - "it's where it belongs mate.... In the fuckin bargain bin before it's even released. you live and learn. I'm still no 1 though."

And finally - "recovered from my vicious rants of last night.dont take to kindly to getting mugged off by people who cant hold a torch to me [...] either personally or professionally. ever wondered why im universally loved, and another manc ex legend in his own mind is despised by most [...] simple really, treat people with the same respect as you would expect from them,live in the present, and dont surround yourself with [...] yes men,nodding dogs and sycophants !!!"

Of course, Mani is covering himself in glory by saying he's universally loved, which of course, he isn't. However, it is funny to imagine him sat in front of a spittle-flecked screen, hammering away on Twitter in the early hours... well worth coming out of retirement for.

This clearly makes us as bad as Hooky by not quitting when we really should have. As penance, FUC51 is off to FAC251 to talk to pink faced 40somethings about how Es were better when they cost £20 whilst wearing a floppy sunhat. [You self-centred sellout, devouring the last morsels of putrid flesh from this once-proud blog etc - a.n.other Fuc51 writer]

FUC R.I.P.

2010-07-12T20:12:00.001+01:00

We're off. It's been real, thanks for the memories. Remember back in January? The posts were stronger and cost £15 to read, and hardly any fucker used to come here. Needless to say, those that did have all got book deals now.

We weren't here to provide an answer, just kick off a debate. Hundreds of you loved us, hundreds of you fucking hated us. Manchester is a passionate and sarcastic city and for both of these things, we should be grateful. Musically, it is in safe hands. PR companies - up your game. Journalists - up your game. Thanks. We'll hand the reins back to those on the ground.

FUC51 RIP.

This was NOT us

2010-07-02T23:42:00.000+01:00

Castle Hotel, Oldham St.
(Thanks to @mark_webster)

Manchester versus Glasgow

2010-07-01T14:00:00.001+01:00

First off, I don't proclaim to know a great deal about the current state of the Manchester music scene. After all I only moved here in April after thirteen years living in Glasgow. All I am offering then are some observations on what I've seen here, and some comparisons between the two cities. I may be completely wrong, so have a large pinch of salt at the ready.

What attracted me to Glasgow, and also to Manchester, is the fact that they are both heavily musical cities.
I love music, it's my religion. And people feel like that here too - pubs still have live music slots, people sing in the streets, you see wannabe MCs practicing their flows as they walk down the road, you can hear a rude boy's car a mile off from the big bottom end. I even like to think that those scallies you see swaggering down the road have been exposed to one-too-many dubby breakbeats and it has infected their nervous system. In Glasgow it's more of a head-butt-friendly happy hardcore rhythm, helped by the caffeine content of both Irn-Bru and Buckfast.

Another of the things that brought me to this city was the tolerance of certain, ahem, alternative lifestyle "choices", having as it does a more diverse social scene than Glasgow. Since moving I have been to a dancehall night in Moss Side, a gay foam party in Legends, I have ventured deep into the Manchester Academy, seen some of the council-funded electronica gigs of Future Everything, and been to band shows at non-trad venues like the Soup Kitchen and Islington Mill. I don't think I'd be able to go to a spread of nights like that in Glasgow - but still that city, for all its drawbacks, has a thriving, healthy music scene. So what's the difference between the two?

Well for me it can be summed up in my experience at the Islington Mill. I like the venue a lot, it reminds me of some of the reclaimed-space art venues I have been involved with in Glasgow - with the crucial difference being that Islington Mill feels very professionally run. Similar spaces in Glasgow are a bit more haphazard, for better and for worse. So while the Islington Mill (from what I hear) may be supported by the income and reputation of the Ting Tings and other residents, somewhere like the Chateau (which was co-founded by Franz Ferdinand) literally had stairs falling in and no funding from the council or any Scottish arts bodies. We got any money we needed by throwing illegal parties.

Now, snigger as you may at what appears to be Scottish incompetence, but the point I am trying to make is that things happen in Glasgow out of sheer necessity. If the Chateau didn't need to exist, it wouldn't have. And from the chaos and freedom of DIY culture spring artists who have had enough time to incubate and develop their art without A&R influence. The Glasgow music scene at the moment is also very heavily influenced by the Glasgow School of Art, again or better and for worse, but what that does throw up is a culture of crazy student house parties that serve as both art installation spaces and impromptu gig venues. The Manchester music scene doesn't seem to have such a large art school impetus, but I could be wrong there.

Glasgow has recently been claimed by the Guardian to be the clubbing capital of the UK (strange how they ran a piece on Numbers and Glasgow clubbing only after Numbers had been offered a Fabric residency) but the truth is that it's getting harder than ever to start a small grass roots DJ night there. Lack of decent venues is one major factor, but also lack of punters, as there simply are not enough residents of the town to fill all the spaces that do exist. What we have begun seeing, in particular at the last few Optimos before the club ended in April, is an influx of tourists coming to have a look at all the crazy people. It's strange, I don't like it, and it's not what Glasgow's nightlife is about for me.

"Aha! But we've already been there..." I can hear you hypothetically whispering in my ear. Yes, and that's the other half of my point. Glasgow has never had an explosion of popular bands that could be lumped into some semi-coherent scene the way Manchester has. This rich musical legacy is something to Manchester's credit, but I feel the success means Manchester has been assimilated into the cynical corporate world of the London music business in a way that Glasgow hasn't (yet). That feeds back into my point about bands playing for the sheer joy of it., as opposed to seeing it as merely a platform for A&R attention, or as a stepping stone to getting to the big city. And those A&R you complain about never leaving London to check out Manchester music on its home ground? Well if you think you've got it bad here, spare a thought for those over the border!

Ok, so here's where I come out of a certain type of closet: I am not averse to a bit of nostalgia tripping. I love thinking about the glory days of disco and house and how it would have been great to experience them. I would be lying if I said those original bands didn't have a huge effect on my younger self, The Stone Roses and The Happy Mondays in particular. On my first few trips here I reveled in seeing and feeling the musical history of this city. I am tiring of the constant reference to the 80s and I am slap bang in the middle of the target demographic for a "Madchester" revival. Yes, I actually enjoyed "How Not To Run A Nightclub", and I even intend to go and have my picture taken outside the Salford's Lads Club at some point (ironically, of course).

So why then am I writing a piece for FUC51?

Well when I first found this blog a light went on and I thought "of course!". Isn't the pitch-black, negative humour of FUC just as accurate and relevant a reflection of the Northern English psyche as anything else? Prone as I am to some mythical "Manchester" imaginings (and it's acid house for me mate), I actually find it heartening that this blog exists - to remind people that the future lies ahead, not behind. Sure, we can enjoy the past, but we have to live in the present and build for the future. So I consider FUC51 to be supplying some kind of social service - it's the Mark E Smith of blogs about Manchester. Unfortunately though, I think the Madchester revival is just beginning to spread outside the city, and has a good few years left in it to be rinsed. As interest in the '80s wanes, it's the perfect gateway into some sort of 90s revival. FUC, I think you've got your work cut out!

Guest blog written by The Niallist

www.myspace.com/theNiallist
littlerockrecords.com
www.shallowrave.com

"The reality is much murkier and disconnected..."

2010-07-01T11:03:00.001+01:00

Julie from LoneLady got in touch with us (after that MOJO piece). Read her views over the jump.

"Just a few thoughts, for what its worth.

I felt article on 'new music from Manchester' was very surface-y and didn't really say anything. I wonder why journalists bother to meet artists/bands etc face to face and record their words only to omit virtually everything they've said. When I spoke to Mojo I was very critical of music 'journalism' for not trying to present a more nuanced view of the way music happens and emerges. I criticised clique-iness and closed-mindedness, and snobbiness (hardly particular only to Manchester). None of this criticism appeared.

I tried to describe that I felt music was full of echoes of what went before, but combined with imagination; hard work, originality can still exist.

Many times I have been asked about a 'Manchester sound'. Journalists who have never been to Manchester, or have visited once, tell me with total authority that my album 'has a Manchester sound'. a) I don't know what this means b) they haven't listened to more that the opening 3 tracks at best c) imagine this is some catch-all term for 'a bit dark', whatever that means.

I have said I find certain bands from Manchester of that period inspiring, but I am not exclusively informed by music from this era/region. The latter part of that sentence gets cut as it doesn't fit the journalists' angle.

Its very reductive for an artist to be shoehorned into some lineage because of short-sighted dull-witted journalism. It seems no longer possible for media to allow breathing space around emerging bands/artists ..to let them be uncertain, murky, a hybrid of lots of different feelings, colours, turnings and cul-de-sacs.

There are hobby bands and nakedly ambitious bands; I feel they dilute the reasons for music-making, and music itself... as though there are 'how to be post-punk/ [insert favoured era] DIY kits for sale. And bad journalism/TV programmes/articles etc strengthen this..treating music fans as though we were all cretins who couldn't manage or cope with a more in-depth article that might contain criticism or not fit with the received template of what music/ an artist / a music listener should be.

Anyone might be forgiven for thinking I am some flag waving Factory/Manchester patriot, given some of the misrepresentation of LoneLady out there. Nor am I interested in being attached to some 'scene' of new music. The reality is much murkier and disconnected than that, as most normal people know. I can only continue to convey this, to whoever might be listening."

FINALLY, some Hac memorabilia

2010-06-30T21:17:00.002+01:00

"This one's signed by Ian Curtis so I'm charging an extra grand ferrit"

In case you missed Tuesday 29th June's North West Tonight, D from Manchester fills us in:

"Last night, NW tonight featured an item on Peter Hook and the acquisition of his new bass guitar.

Not just any bass guitar. He's had a custom instrument made, crafted from the boards of the hallowed Hacienda Dancefloor, decorated in stripes coulored yellow and black (both colours of which Peter has bought exclusive ownership of) and with the numbers 5 & 1 adorned (again Peter owns exclusive rights to both of these two numerals)"

more info here

Frank Sidebottom RIP

2010-06-21T16:50:00.000+01:00

Fuck all this squabbling. Really sad news reaches FUC51.

Frank Sidebottom has passed away after collapsing at home. Chris/Frank was a really lovely bloke and our thoughts go out to his family and everyone close to him.

Full story at the MEN here

A Fac-ing Treasure Hunt!

2010-06-09T21:07:00.007+01:00

The Hac DJ booth. Oh, if wood could tell a story. All the greats. Jack leads. A mixer. A box of miscallaneous wires. The last record played within its confines (2 copies of Jamiroquai's 'Cosmic Girl', so the legend goes).

And then... well, it got flogged, along with everything else in the building (and a bunch of stuff that wasn't, so we hear). Where did it end up?

A source (who may or may not have owned it once) tells us it was 'last seen on the land behind The Mackintosh Building near The Ritz. It's an 11ft x 18ft shed sat under some blue tarpaulin. Maybe it could be auctioned off to some idiots and you could go out drinking for a few days'.

CAN. YOU. IMAGINE?

Imagine getting your hands on that thing! Oh, the things you could do with it...

According to our calculations, that could comfortably hold a Qualcast Easitrack 320,

The Black and Decker Wm301 Workmate,

A Hornby Cornish Pullman train set,

AND a stack of DeConstruction promos that won't shift on eBay.

Somebody find it, before Hooky does!

[disclaimer: someone was telling us earlier where they'd last seen the DJ booth. If you're looking for some kind of point, perhaps try another post on here]

Elevated Pub Rant vrs Elevated Pub Rock

2010-06-06T11:00:00.000+01:00

John Robb gave us a mention on his personal blog after reading FUC51's Guardian piece. It was only a matter of time wasn't it?

He wrote: "I don’t know if anyone saw that rant in the Guardian about Manchester living in the past by Fuc51 but day by day I’m hearing band after band that proves this rather elevated pub rant wrong."

John has a point. There are loads of cool things going on in the city.

However, the irony doesn't escape us when being chided by someone who fawned over Freebass recently and gave us the literary delights of 'The Stone Roses And The Resurrection Of British Pop', 'The Charlatans: We Are Rock', 'The Nineties: What The Fuck Was That All About' and 'The North Will Rise Again- Manchester Music City 1976-1996'. Oh, and that lovely article about vital new Manchester act Rowetta in the Guardian.

Death To Trad Rock, eh?

Hac-Beens

2010-06-06T09:31:00.006+01:00

One commentator said to FUC51 that, if we actually bothered to go to Fac251, we'd "see that it's actually packed full of teenagers having a great time to new bands or modern tunes". Yes, we know they have a dubstep night.

Alas, this point isn't exactly helped by this poster, spotted this weekend promoting a veritable array of Hacienda Dad's Army types.

Allister Whitehead (CHECK!) Hooky (CHECK!) Elliott 'last record at the Hacienda' Eastwick (CHECK!) Greg Wilson (CHECK!) Graeme Park (CHECK!) Martin Moscrop (CHECK!)

Arthur Baker, in case you'd forgotten, is credited with teaching Hooky to do his trademark 'ride the bass EQ like a champion jockey' DJ move, as mentioned on his Myspace:

"Im messing with the eq. on the desk , as taught to me by the great Arthur Baker, to emphasise rolls hand claps effects etc, then you sneak the bottom end out then bring it back in suddenly for added frisson. Shit he will kill me for telling you!"

See this 'secret weapon' in action here.

Ian Brown, Peter Hook and "pink faces in faded Stone Island"

2010-06-05T11:06:00.001+01:00

We wrote a piece for the Guardian Guide on the forthcoming Ian Brown Platt Fields gig.

Our fee has been donated to the proper Manchester heroes at Christie Hospital.

Factory Foundation Recordings

2010-06-03T11:04:00.001+01:00

What's this? A label set up by the late Tony Wilson and Esther O'Callaghan before he died, called Factory Foundation Recordings? Oh fucking hell - this is going to be hilarious, bet they're putting out 'Pills and Thrills' again inside a massive ltd-edition black and yellow E, right?

Wait, what's this? Silverclub? Aren't they a new band? But, but, they're new...? And we hear a band called Suzuki Method are next up to release something? But they weren't even there! Shurely shome mishtake? Nope, they really are putting out releases by new bands, and there's a not a press release full of stale Hac anecdotes anywhere to be seen.

The profits from the label also go back into providing free music workshops for disadvantaged children and young people. Let it never be said we're not positive on this blog, and here's heritage being used for the powers of good. Good on them.
(yes, we know the Foundation's been going since 2003, but the label's a new thing)

FAC251 to honour Manchester's musical heritage!

2010-06-03T10:14:00.001+01:00

We've been slating Hooky and Co (not be confused with Legs & Co) for rolling around in Manchester's 20 year musical heritage like a pig in shit, but we can't fault his latest foray into the past as it has been announced that Factory251 is to host an evening in tribute to Maurice Gibb.

Hook has stated that Maurice, who grew up in Chorlton, is a man who "needs to be remembered... even though he was born in the Isle of Man."

Hook: "Mo' made loads of albums that never got released. There was 'The Loner', 'Strings and Things' and 'A Breed Apart'. He also did that musical called 'Sing a Rude Song' as well as producing albums and that one for that Swedish bird, Carola. Does anyone remember? Do they fuck. That's where we come in."

"Sadly, I haven't heard the albums and I don't like musicals, but in true Factory style, I won't let a little thing like that get in the way of celebrating one of Manchester's most famous sons! What I've done is formed a hastily assembled band made entirely of Mancunian legends to perform 'Bizarre Love Triangle' for 3 hours. Cressa from the Roses is on-board, as is Waggs from the Mondays and Rowetta said she's up for it if she can stay out of the spirits in The Northern long enough to not piss her knickers. I'll be on double neck bass."

The Maurice Gibb tribute night - 'Fanny Be Tender With My Love' - will be Thursday 15th July, tickets £20. Compere for the night is Toby Anstis.

Peter Hook's Extraordinary Stories!

2010-06-02T17:42:00.002+01:00

Some wag has been showcasing some of Hooky's amazing stories that he shares when he's "out and about".

Called Peter Hook's Extraordinary Stories, we see the Freebasing Manc' at his mercurial best! Click here to see them all!

You won't FUCing believe your poor, poor ears

2010-05-31T10:38:00.001+01:00

Sometimes, there are no words. None. Some things are so fucking mindfuckingly woeful that you're resorted to baffled, stunned, pre-sick watery silence. So with that, we'll hand over to The Complete Stone Roses to tell you all about their cover of 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' featuring Clint Boon and Hooky. Yes. You read all of that correctly.

"This is the music promo video for a re-worked cover version of legendary "Joy Division/New Order" song "Love Will Tear Us Apart" performed and recorded by Scottish tribute band "The Complete Stone Roses" Special guests on the recording which took place at "Parr Street Studios" in Liverpool (Coldplay, echo & the bunnymen etc) are "Peter Hook" and "Clint Boon" and the track was also co-produced by "Hooky" with "the completes" band members and management.

This song will be available [and you can fuck off if you think we're giving you details of how to buy it, even if it IS for charity].

Watch and weep (and be sure to click through to the video and read some of the hilarious comments. Props to the 'Nickelback' commenter)

What's hot in May 2010

2010-05-29T18:00:00.006+01:00

A guest post today from a new contributor to Fuc. Name supplied.

This month's copy of "Britain's largest circulating music magazine" The Fly has a great little roundup of what's hot up here right now - be sure to have a look at who our Manchester Regional Correspondent has decided to highlight - that's right, four unassuming young lads from Burnage have been featured as 'album of the month'- let's just hope this much-needed exposure gives them the career lift they need.

See also this month's recommended gig - 'Ian Brown'. Excellent. So on a platform that could potentially be read by over 100,000 people nationwide (if you believe their stats), we tell Britain that the city is fuuuuucckking buuuuzzzing about another Oasis' greatest hits album, and the eagerly-anticipated "Manc bravado" sure to be provided by Ian Brown. Keep up the good work, Kelly Murray.

Last time we bought Mojo, The Beatles were on the cover

2010-05-27T13:34:00.005+01:00

Fuc spoke to Mojo recently for a piece about Manchester. It's in the July issue, the one with ~~Pet Soun~~ ~~Dark Side of Th~~ Tom Waits on the cover.

If even the heritage mags are looking forward now, then maybe we're winning. The unabridged interview follows over the jump.

M: When was FUC51 founded?

Fuc: 1981. We lost money for years, it was mental! Then we were just in the right place in the right time, the drugs were right and people started coming in their droves.

M: Why?

Fuc: There's been something of an elephant in the collective Mancunian room. Manchester has always been a great city for music, from the Halle orchestra straight through to the burgeoning folkie scene in the fashionable leafy bits of South Manchester. However, every time you pick up a magazine or newspaper, Manchester is little more than a Factory Records theme park. All music that comes from Manchester is tied to The Happy Mondays, Joy Division or whatever. The irony here, is that there's a lot of Mancs who really despise Liverpool for being something of a BeatleWorld, when really, this city is just as bad - if not worse. At least Liverpool are fawning over the most famous band in pop history, whilst Mancunians are still in a circle jerk over three or four indie LPs.

M: Was there a pivotal event, a “that’s it, I’ve had enough” moment?

Fuc: Not especially. It would appear to many that Peter Hook's re-opening of The Factory nightclub would be it, but to be completely honest, we were just fortuitous that it opened when it did. The debate had already started a long time ago, there was just no central platform for it. It's been more of a constant nagging that won't go away - building steadily over the last 15 years perhaps, rather than an apoplectic 'Falling Down' moment.

M: What situation is the modern Manchester music scene in and how does that relate to the Factory/Roses heritage industry?

Fuc: Manchester, like any other city worth its salt, has a great music scene. There's still a lot of bands breaking through and being popular. The Ting Tings did alright for themselves and Egyptian Hip Hop are making a stink in the music rags. Both of these bands, regardless of whether we/you like them or not, managed to forge a career without leaning on Tony H. Wilson's corpse.

There's a healthy amount of promoters sticking their necks out and we're in a much better place venue-wise than we have been in a long time. The city's always been good at that DIY ethic, and if there's any kind of legacy worth wearing around our necks, let that be it.

M: Why do you think this has happened?

Fuc: There's always going to be revivalists in the music world. Chimp Magazine [for example] do favour Madchester artists and we eagerly await their Northside special, however, it's a localised version of Mojo's use of '60s and '70s artists on the cover. That said, national publications have the rest of the publishing world to fall back on. Don't like The Stones? Buy The NME. In Manchester, no local publication is given a chance because people are far too keen on using the same, tired old faces again and again.

It's a comfort thing - no matter that Ian Brown's not really doing anything that interesting any more - it's as simple as 'he played in that band we first got drunk to and let's have a reminisce'. There's a real culture of 'paying your dues' in Manchester as well. A mentality where if you once sold 500,000 records you get elevated to 'untouchable' status. Nonsense - you're never untouchable, you're only as good as the last thing you did.

M: Who is your bete noire, the Manchester figure(s) you most bemoan the appearance of?

Fuc: Peter Hook features quite heavily on our pages and seems to rile most of our readers. That said, he's not the problem as such. He's just a musician trying to earn a living and if he can exploit his back catalogue, then it only seems fair. Our main bugbear is the press. Whilst we may poke fun at Hooky for reopening The Factory, broadsheets and music magazines are by far the worst offenders with their continued use of Factory records every time a new band appears.

M: What is the most pathetic example of the Manchester/Factory heritage industry you have witnessed? (A list is acceptable).

Fuc: One Guardian article, about the folk scene revolving around Chorlton, managed to crow-bar in a reference to the Hacienda regarding an artist called John Stammers. Here, we have a bloke who makes pastoral Nick Drake-ish music being prodded and poked with the acid house stick. It is possible to make an album in Manchester and be influenced by music away from the city. There's bands that are more inspired by Detroit or New York than they are by their immediate surroundings, just like any other band from any other part of the world. A new band, Delphic, are continually likened to New Order because their brand of pop uses guitars and synthesizers, despite the fact they continually reference krautrock bands.They even said "We're very proud of Manchester but we were inspired by what we didn't like in Manchester, and that was Manchester refusing to move on. We felt it was in danger of drowning under its heritage. We wanted to help it look forward and were sick of the Madchester stereotypes." Not that anyone took any notice.

M: What kind of support have you had from within Manchester?

Fuc: The response has been great both positive and negative, which is wholly the point of FUC51. Many have praised us for daring to kick a thing that's been canonised by those that were in it and, more importantly, those that were hangers-on. Others have chastised us for not promoting what is good about the city, which is fair. However, we wanted to start the debate about Manchester's future and people /are/ talking. Tony Wilson's son, after reading the blog, was prompted into asking if Manchester is becoming a Madchester Theme Park on a TV show and former Hacienda DJ and writer Dave Haslam was critical of the revivalism. Naturally, there's a certain irony in both cases, but support has come from the most unlikely of places.

M: Who from Manchester’s post punk history has managed to retain their dignity?

Fuc: Rock stars aren't supposed to retain their dignity. That's part of the trade we all make when we sign up with a band. When a rock star gets older, for the most part, all they have are memories. Mark E. Smith is by no means a dignified human, but at least he's still looking forward and making new, grumpy LPs. Then again, he's a Salford boy.

M: Who from Manchester’s post punk history has welcomed the site: “About bloody time” (I know Jon Savage is a fan)
Fuc: Apart from the aforementioned, no-one has explicitly come forward to support FUC51. Not that we know of, anyway. It's hardly surprisingly really as Manchester is a small city and everyone knows each other. Collectively, we all know everyone from the Factory set-up.

There's a bit of the 'mob mentality' as far as the music scene goes. Toe the line and don't speak up, your turn will come. There's a bit of a 'Manchester Mafia' in a way - consisting of balding ex-DJs and rhythm sections of bands from yesteryear. From what we've seen they're all closet internet warriors, and consequently people can be a little afraid to speak out sometimes.

M: What is your aim?

Fuc: Merely to start the debate. If people want to promote what's good about Manchester, then our shoddy little blog should show them just how easy it is to start their own. Invariably, the end result we want is to be completely and utterly revered and end up as talking heads on television shows whenever anyone wants to talk about Madchester. We'll probably build apartments on the site of FUC51's URL. In 5 year's time we'll start releasing strictly limited, numbered CDRs containing every word ever committed to the blog. Signed by Ian Curtis, natch.

M: Does the current Manchester music “:scene” suffer as a result of the manc heritage industry?

Fuc: Suffer isn't the right word. Bands that come through Manchester are often helped by lazy journalism and press releases. However, the Mancunian way of thinking is, in many respects, very backward. For such a musical city, you'd hope that more bands would emerge - especially the myriad of great artists that don't sound anything like Joy Division, New Order, Oasis or Happy Mondays.

You have this weird situation where bands like, say, The Longcut have in the past been given passing comparisons to New Order. Sorry, but they sound absolutely nothing like New Order. We all know how difficult it is to get a London A+R up here when it's not In The City - if the other 51 weeks of the year they're reading all this revival crap about bands across the press then well, there's almost a danger of it self-propagating. They then come up here looking out for 'the new Joy Division' and the cycle repeats.

M: Who from the current scene is worth checking out/is overlooked?

Fuc: Bearing in mind that we do actually like some of the old guard, there's a few bands that have been making waves around Manchester. Mazes, Ten Bears, Maladies of Bellafontaine, Sisters of Transistors - (the irony, they feature Graham Massey amongst their number!), Jim Noir, Voice of the Seven Thunders (he's from Bolton, still, the Charlatans are hardly Mancs either) , Working for a Nuclear Free City, Cats in Paris, Magic Arm, just for starters! Not to mention the likes of clubs and promoters like Aa, Up the Racket, Naive Melody, Hoya Hoya, The Deaf Institute... [list continues at length, you get the idea...]

M: What do you think of artists like Lonelady who are clearly in love with that old Manc sound but are also drawing on the current mood within the city?

Fuc: There's nothing wrong with drawing inspiration from the old Manchester sound. It would just be nice if the music press noticed that there were a whole load of bands that don't fit in the whole post-punk slot that has been foisted upon the city. FUC51 wouldn't begrudge a band from London listening to The Kinks, and nor will we deny the importance and legacy of, say, Unknown Pleasures. To assume that LoneLady is tapping into the mood of Manchester currently is exactly what's wrong with the perception of the city. Believe it or not, there's really cheery bands in Manchester who like The Beach Boys more than some assumed industrial romanticism. People in Manchester don't hang around disused warehouses dressed in black jeans. If you want to know where the kids are at, look at Egyptian Hip Hop or Dirty North and their brilliantly awful taste in clothes.

M: What question(s) have I stupidly forgot to ask you that you’d like to answer at length?

Fuc: Q: Are you nihilists?

A: No - Manchester's ace - we love it. The people behind Fuc have been involved with or been present at uncountable great moments over the years - from Sankeys to The Roadhouse. Almost all of the greatest moments have been spontaneous, forward-thinking and involved massive risk-taking on the part of the perpetrators, with scant regard for what's gone before. If there's a Manchester to go all misty-eyed about in reminiscence, then that's it.

Spike Island: 20th Anniversary

2010-05-27T10:00:00.000+01:00

Did you know that it is the 20th anniversary of The Stone Roses Spike Island gig today? Yep. 27th May 1990 is when the world's most disappointing mini festival took place which saw people faced with a thousand hours of DJs and people shouting "MVITA! Manchester Vibes In The Area!" from the mouths in their round little sun-burned heads (apart from those in Reni sunhats of course).

Over to the words of Everett True, writing for the Melody Maker at the time:

"So today’s show – and it’s plusses an minuses – doesn’t matter. It’ll have been enough for The Stone Roses to have said they played in front of 28,000 people, it’ll be enough for the faithful to be able to wear their “Spike Island: 1990” tee-shirts and announce, “I was there when Manchester vibes were full on in the area”."

All he missed was the fact that half of Manchester would be saying it for the next 20 years. Anyway, here are some children re-enacting that fabled weekend in a fashion much more entertaining and enthusiastic than the performance given by The Stone Roses on the day itself. Feel free to wallow in nostalgia Mockunians.

Get Your Hopes Up (Win, Win, Win)

2010-05-21T03:19:00.014+01:00

Seriously. What in fuck's name is this? If you can think of a worse World Cup song than this, including the dreadful 'We're On The Ball', then you're off-your-fuuuuuckinnnng-tiiiiits-maaaan.

Of course, this isn't surprising when you look at who is involved. Firstly, you have Gideon Conn who, for reasons unclear, has made a name for himself by melding Damien Rice with the sounds of Scatman John. He's fast winning hearts as 'Manchester's acoustic Jamiroquai'. ((c) us))

Our favourite bit of heckling in recent memory was when Gideon Conn supported Bobby Conn (see what they did there?) - a lone audience member simply shouted 'please die'. (It wasn't us)

Secondly, you've got Clint Boon - currently leading the 'Boon Army' (the Dad's Army of music, bellowing "DON'T PANIC!" every time someone dares to imply that Manchester may have been a bit shit around 1990). Boon Army and a sea of blokes poking shelltoes into a lager-soaked South nightclub dancefloor go arm-in-arm.

Who the fuck thought it might be a good idea to get this pair into a studio?

Even the notoriously-shit PWEI made a better world cup song than this. *necks dove*

Mancliché

2010-05-21T02:59:00.011+01:00

Oooh! It's nearly time!

There's a festival on the curry mile and there's music and fun to be had! Hang on. What's this? Just how many Manclichés are there? Lets see: Ian Brown of The Stone Roses (CHECK!); Sumner playing with Bad Lieutenant formerly of Joy Division and New Order (CHECK!); Peter Hook (CHECK!); Mike Pickering and Justin Robertson of Hacienda fame (CHECK!); A Certain Ratio, who were signed to Factory (CHECK!); Mr Scruff of Eastern Bloc P45 (CHECK!).

We wouldn't be surprised if Clint Boon is the master of ceremonies on the day as well!

It is obvious that Manchester could be improved greatly by dropping a slab of concrete the exact width and breadth of Platt Fields on Friday 11th of June. We'll have to sacrifice some ducks in that boating lake thing, but in war, innocents will always die.

That, or we can simply thrill at the fact that everywhere else in Manchester on the night won't be filled with pot-bellied fortysomethings requesting 'Step On' as they'll all be reliving imagined glory years when UNKLE finally take to the stage to play the hip-hop equivalent of watery yoghurt.

Seriously though, if you are going, don't forget to make up alternative lyrics for that simian twat's 'F.E.A.R.' like "Formulaic egocentric ape rocker, fellating everyone after Reading96." And take sun-cream.

(Our tips: Catch Unabombers / Krysko / Now Wave and El Diablos, then get the fuck out of there)

Elevating the dead over the living

2010-05-19T10:57:00.007+01:00

30 years have gone by, as good a time as any to get a hack to write another hagiographic puff piece. Or just dig out the one you rehash every few months in the paper.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/musicblog/2010/may/18/ian-curtis

Does no-one matter until they're dead? [(c) Fugazi] - If we were Performance's press guy we'd be weighing up our options.

It'll be 31 years next year, 32 after that. Plenty more reminiscing to be done, more articles like this one to be written, despite any emotional impact they may have had having been diminished years ago, thanks to the revival industry. Big things planned for the 35th we hear. And the 40th.

Unbelievable! Not a sniff of Madchester in sight!

2010-05-13T10:56:00.002+01:00

It is not impossible. Honestly, you press cunts really can write about what is going on in Manchester without wheeling out tired old lines about 'rave' and the imagined 'spirit' of a dwelling.

So a big hats off to CreativeTourist who have written an article about 5 festivals going on in Manchester without once resorting to dribbling on about 'the glory days'.

Click here to read an article that effectively says 'here's a load of great stuff going on in Manchester concerning a load of bands that aren't necessarily from Manchester because Mancs, like anyone from any other city like to listen to music from all over the world'.

*doffs cap*

Why don't we go Fuc ourselves?

2010-05-13T10:29:00.001+01:00

Ha ha ha! This is brilliant! A Facebook page has been set up called FUCFUC51.

Their/his/her mandate is this:

"We are interested in anything good and positive for Manchester music. We are NOT like the desperate negative fools of the faceless FUC51.You wont be hearing the needy outpourings of a bitter wannabe on here.

"why can't it be meeeeeeeee that manchester is talking about"...'cos your a nerdy little dweeb and if you actually had the courage of your convictions you wouldn't post your ill-informed shite under a cloak of anonymity.

Lets keep it all good, after all, it's only a facebook page."

Click here and pay them a visit.

Not breaking with convention

2010-04-16T23:37:00.010+01:00

Hey! New talent! Come to this workshop and bow down to the old guard... Our department of contrived, shitty post-modern ideas have tied what might have otherwise been a worthwhile afternoon in with meaningless history - wheeling out Ian Curtis in the name of progress has never been so much fun!

'Cutting edge' meets well, the really fucking predictable. Destroy this cuntery.

Here's the itinerary, try and stay awake!

Un-Convention Factory – 15th May, 2010

As part of a larger event called Unknown Pleasures, celebrating the life of Ian Curtis on the 30th anniversary of his death, Un-Convention has been commissioned to develop a very special version of the event.

In just one day 8 bands, 60 invited creatives and music industry professionals and 200 participants will embark on an experiment – to create, record and release a new record, while exploring the challenges, ideas and debates within the music industry.

The invited creatives and music industry professionals will be those at the cutting edge of music, from past and present. The participants will be anyone connected to music – from fans, to labels, to promoters to bands.

This is not a conventional conference. It is an event where the experienced connect with young talent and create a record, whilst debating and networking along the way.

Macclesfield Football Stadium will be transformed into a factory containing all the elements and processes involved in creating a record. Participants will be free to explore the factory, interact with the invited creatives and ultimately make all the decisions along the way.

At the end of the day, the record will be available for people to download, hear or buy (depending on what is decided by the participants). 8 new and un-conventional bands/collaborators will cover a track from Iggy Pop’s ‘The Idiot’ (the record Ian Curtis was listening to at the time of his death) and write a new track inspired by Joy Division/Ian Curtis. Each band will perform the songs, in front of an audience, while the songs are recorded for the album.

The stadium will be split into different areas – a graphic design studio, a performance and production area, a digital space, a mix studio and an idea/debate area. The graphic design studio will be occupied by designers, who, once given a brief on the day will produce a sleeve for the record. The digital space will be occupied by bloggers, new digital businesses (such as Music Glue, Sound Cloud and Spotify) and digital strategists who will all explore the best way to release and promote the record. The production area will have experienced producers who will record and mix the tracks.

The event will involve invited experienced participants such as Peter Saville, MPs, legendary record labels and some high profile bands.

Documentation

The whole process will be documented with podcasts and video and made available on the Un-Convention web hub after the event. We also have good links with BBC 6Music and expect they would broadcast live from the event – featuring the bands on the show.

IDEAS SPACE (capacity 300 people) – inspired by Ian Curtis and Factory Records:

9am – 9:30am

Introduction and keynote speech (Mike McNally, Andrew Dubber and Ruth Daniel). The session will address how the day will work, introduce the bands and talk about the idea behind the day.

10am – 11:15am

Music As Culture – ‘Some people make money and some make history’ Tony Wilson

Joy Division and Factory Records are inextricably linked. From the music, to the sleeve designs, to the look and imagery to the philosophy of both the band and the label and of course both had strong, identifiable front men in Ian Curtis and Tony Wilson.

Much has been said and written about Tony Wilson and Factory but it is undeniable that music was a passion for the founders, particularly music that originated in and around Manchester. While there is no doubt that they wanted the label to make money, or at least break even, history shows us this was not their primary concern.

As Dave Haslam has written 'They were never 'great businessmen' in the classic sense; they were flakey, inspiring, music enthusiasts who got entangled in the manacles of the business world'.

Both Joy Division and Factory however have left an indelible mark on music and popular culture in this country, the fact we are here today is tantamount to this. And it is this idea, that music is much more than merely an economic pursuit, that it is part of our culture, that we are interested in discussing.

Music as culture is not represented at any policy level and so important decisions are being made without consideration for the cultural aspect of music itself.

When commerce is the only consideration, we believe the cultural, social, intellectual and artistic life of the citizenry suffers. Innovation suffers and the creative economy is hamstrung as a result.

Panelists – Andrew Dubber (New Music Strategist), Jez Collins (Birmingham City Music Archive), Steve Lawson (Artist), Sion Simon (The Minister for Culture), Alan Erasmus (Factory Records), Jarvis Coker, Denis Jones.

11.15am – 11.45

Break and networking

11:45am – 1pm

Death of the Rock and Roll Star

Curtis was the classic rock and roll star. Years after his death, critics and fans continue to write and discuss at length Curtis's music, as well as possible motivations and inspirations for his work.

As websites like MySpace, Twitter and Facebook allow fans to connect directly with bands, is there room for the rock and roll star anymore?

Panelists: John Robb, Mark E Smith, Jon McClure, Guy Garvey (Elbow), Liam Frost, Al Farquhar, Sumit Bothra, Dave Bianchi

1pm – 2pm

Lunch and networking

2pm – 3.15pm

The Aesthetics of Music – a study of Factory Records

The panel will explore how a music scene or band can be defined through visual creative arts - such as video, sleeve art, fonts, images.

Increasingly finished recorded formats such as CD albums and singles play a decreasing role in the fan's engagement with a label. Artists/labels nowadays publish a steady stream of content (digital & physical) - things like blog posts, event flyers, videos, iPhone apps, t-shirts, posters etc. This panel will explore how Factory pioneered this rather unique catalogue approach and how artists/labels should take inspiration from that.

Panelists – Peter Saville (Factory), Mark Brown (Mark Brown Studios – record sleeve designer), Pedro Winter (Ed Banger Records), Chris Cunningham, Steve Beckett (Warp Records).

3.15pm – 3.45pm

Break and networking

3.45pm – 5pm

‘Successful DIYers’ – Something From Nothing

Case studies of the most innovative DIYers in the UK and internationally.

Moderator: Mike McNally (McNally Consulting), with Fabricio Nombre (Brazil), Vijay Nair (Only Much Louder, India), Martin Giraldo (Colombia) and Jay Taylor (The Ruby Lounge), Enter Shakari.

PRODUCTION AND PERFORMANCE SPACE (capacity 50 people in each)

10am – 5pm

Recording, mixing and production process of 8 bands

Participants: Reverend and The Makers,

Producer: Youth

Engineer and space manager: Dan Thomas

DESIGN SPACE (capacity 40 people)

10am – 5pm

Design of album sleeve, posters and digital creative content for the website

Participants: Stanley Chow, Peter Saville, Mark Brown, (plus 4 young local students studying graphic design)

DIGITAL SPACE (capacity 60 people)

Upload area

An upload area, will be available for those documenting the event with flip of phone cameras to download content, that will immediately be available to view on the website.

Website and blog creation

Websites can be created on Macs during the event to promote the process and release.

Platforms

Music Glue, SoundCloud and BandCamp will have the opportunity to showcase their platforms and compete for the participants vote on which platform should be used to release the record.

Blogspot

This area will have 2 dedicated computers for bloggers to post their commentary on the event.

Roundtable Sessions

These sessions will define the release strategy for the record and will be presented as part of the closing session (6pm – 7pm). Each roundtable will have space for up to 15 participants to ensure constructive discussion. Participants can sign up to these sessions before the event on the website.

10am – 11.15am

Release strategy roundtable led by Mark Meharry, Music Glue – a sales/release strategy for the record

11.15am – 11.45am

Break and networking

11.45am – 1pm

Digital Marketing roundtable led by Karen Piper, Radar Maker – building the campaign.

1pm – 2pm

Lunch and networking

2pm – 3.15pm

International approaches led by Martin Giraldo, La Capsula (Colombia) – building international strategy. Participants: Fabricio Nombre, Lykle De Vries, Wolfgang Senges, Keith Wallang

3.15pm – 3.45pm

Break and networking

3.45pm – 5pm

Zero outlay marketing strategies led by Andrew Dubber, New Music Strategies.

CLOSING SESSION – IN IDEAS SPACE

5pm – 6pm

Break for participants

6pm – 7:30pm

Presenting the album, artwork and promotional campaign. Feedback from all sessions. Release of the album.
Un-Convention Factory – 15th May, 2010

As part of a larger event called Unknown Pleasures, celebrating the life of Ian Curtis on the 30th anniversary of his death, Un-Convention has been commissioned to develop a very special version of the event.

In just one day 8 bands, 60 invited creatives and music industry professionals and 200 participants will embark on an experiment – to create, record and release a new record, while exploring the challenges, ideas and debates within the music industry.

The invited creatives and music industry professionals will be those at the cutting edge of music, from past and present. The participants will be anyone connected to music – from fans, to labels, to promoters to bands.

This is not a conventional conference. It is an event where the experienced connect with young talent and create a record, whilst debating and networking along the way.

Macclesfield Football Stadium will be transformed into a factory containing all the elements and processes involved in creating a record. Participants will be free to explore the factory, interact with the invited creatives and ultimately make all the decisions along the way.

At the end of the day, the record will be available for people to download, hear or buy (depending on what is decided by the participants). 8 new and un-conventional bands/collaborators will cover a track from Iggy Pop’s ‘The Idiot’ (the record Ian Curtis was listening to at the time of his death) and write a new track inspired by Joy Division/Ian Curtis. Each band will perform the songs, in front of an audience, while the songs are recorded for the album.

The stadium will be split into different areas – a graphic design studio, a performance and production area, a digital space, a mix studio and an idea/debate area. The graphic design studio will be occupied by designers, who, once given a brief on the day will produce a sleeve for the record. The digital space will be occupied by bloggers, new digital businesses (such as Music Glue, Sound Cloud and Spotify) and digital strategists who will all explore the best way to release and promote the record. The production area will have experienced producers who will record and mix the tracks.

The event will involve invited experienced participants such as Peter Saville, MPs, legendary record labels and some high profile bands.

Documentation

The whole process will be documented with podcasts and video and made available on the Un-Convention web hub after the event. We also have good links with BBC 6Music and expect they would broadcast live from the event – featuring the bands on the show.

IDEAS SPACE (capacity 300 people) – inspired by Ian Curtis and Factory Records:

9am – 9:30am
Introduction and keynote speech (Mike McNally, Andrew Dubber and Ruth Daniel). The session will address how the day will work, introduce the bands and talk about the idea behind the day.

10am – 11:15am
Music As Culture – ‘Some people make money and some make history’ Tony Wilson

Joy Division and Factory Records are inextricably linked. From the music, to the sleeve designs, to the look and imagery to the philosophy of both the band and the label and of course both had strong, identifiable front men in Ian Curtis and Tony Wilson.

Much has been said and written about Tony Wilson and Factory but it is undeniable that music was a passion for the founders, particularly music that originated in and around Manchester. While there is no doubt that they wanted the label to make money, or at least break even, history shows us this was not their primary concern.

As Dave Haslam has written 'They were never 'great businessmen' in the classic sense; they were flakey, inspiring, music enthusiasts who got entangled in the manacles of the business world'.

Both Joy Division and Factory however have left an indelible mark on music and popular culture in this country, the fact we are here today is tantamount to this. And it is this idea, that music is much more than merely an economic pursuit, that it is part of our culture, that we are interested in discussing.

Music as culture is not represented at any policy level and so important decisions are being made without consideration for the cultural aspect of music itself.

When commerce is the only consideration, we believe the cultural, social, intellectual and artistic life of the citizenry suffers. Innovation suffers and the creative economy is hamstrung as a result.

Panelists – Andrew Dubber (New Music Strategist), Jez Collins (Birmingham City Music Archive), Steve Lawson (Artist), Sion Simon (The Minister for Culture), Alan Erasmus (Factory Records), Jarvis Coker, Denis Jones.

11.15am – 11.45
Break and networking

11:45am – 1pm
Death of the Rock and Roll Star

Curtis was the classic rock and roll star. Years after his death, critics and fans continue to write and discuss at length Curtis's music, as well as possible motivations and inspirations for his work.

As websites like MySpace, Twitter and Facebook allow fans to connect directly with bands, is there room for the rock and roll star anymore?

Panelists: John Robb, Mark E Smith, Jon McClure, Guy Garvey (Elbow), Liam Frost, Al Farquhar, Sumit Bothra, Dave Bianchi

1pm – 2pm
Lunch and networking

2pm – 3.15pm
The Aesthetics of Music – a study of Factory Records

The panel will explore how a music scene or band can be defined through visual creative arts - such as video, sleeve art, fonts, images.

Increasingly finished recorded formats such as CD albums and singles play a decreasing role in the fan's engagement with a label. Artists/labels nowadays publish a steady stream of content (digital & physical) - things like blog posts, event flyers, videos, iPhone apps, t-shirts, posters etc. This panel will explore how Factory pioneered this rather unique catalogue approach and how artists/labels should take inspiration from that.

Panelists – Peter Saville (Factory), Mark Brown (Mark Brown Studios – record sleeve designer), Pedro Winter (Ed Banger Records), Chris Cunningham, Steve Beckett (Warp Records).

3.15pm – 3.45pm
Break and networking

3.45pm – 5pm
‘Successful DIYers’ – Something From Nothing

Case studies of the most innovative DIYers in the UK and internationally.

Moderator: Mike McNally (McNally Consulting), with Fabricio Nombre (Brazil), Vijay Nair (Only Much Louder, India), Martin Giraldo (Colombia) and Jay Taylor (The Ruby Lounge), Enter Shakari.

PRODUCTION AND PERFORMANCE SPACE (capacity 50 people in each)

10am – 5pm
Recording, mixing and production process of 8 bands

Participants: Reverend and The Makers,
Producer: Youth
Engineer and space manager: Dan Thomas

DESIGN SPACE (capacity 40 people)

10am – 5pm
Design of album sleeve, posters and digital creative content for the website

Participants: Stanley Chow, Peter Saville, Mark Brown, (plus 4 young local students studying graphic design)

DIGITAL SPACE (capacity 60 people)

Upload area
An upload area, will be available for those documenting the event with flip of phone cameras to download content, that will immediately be available to view on the website.

Website and blog creation
Websites can be created on Macs during the event to promote the process and release.

Platforms
Music Glue, SoundCloud and BandCamp will have the opportunity to showcase their platforms and compete for the participants vote on which platform should be used to release the record.

Blogspot
This area will have 2 dedicated computers for bloggers to post their commentary on the event.

Roundtable Sessions
These sessions will define the release strategy for the record and will be presented as part of the closing session (6pm – 7pm). Each roundtable will have space for up to 15 participants to ensure constructive discussion. Participants can sign up to these sessions before the event on the website.

10am – 11.15am
Release strategy roundtable led by Mark Meharry, Music Glue – a sales/release strategy for the record

11.15am – 11.45am
Break and networking

11.45am – 1pm
Digital Marketing roundtable led by Karen Piper, Radar Maker – building the campaign.

1pm – 2pm
Lunch and networking

2pm – 3.15pm
International approaches led by Martin Giraldo, La Capsula (Colombia) – building international strategy. Participants: Fabricio Nombre, Lykle De Vries, Wolfgang Senges, Keith Wallang

3.15pm – 3.45pm
Break and networking

3.45pm – 5pm
Zero outlay marketing strategies led by Andrew Dubber, New Music Strategies.

CLOSING SESSION – IN IDEAS SPACE

5pm – 6pm
Break for participants

6pm – 7:30pm
Presenting the album, artwork and promotional campaign. Feedback from all sessions. Release of the album.

Jilly's Rockworld and Music Box to close?

2010-04-13T14:05:00.002+01:00

To stop sniping briefly, FUC51 has just heard that Jilly's Rockworld and Music Box are to close. Whilst we may not have liked the music especially, it was always nice to know these places existed.

From Jilly's Facebook page: "This is the worse news I have will ever have to impart here. It is with the heaviest of heart that I must tell you all that Jilly's Rockworld has finally closed its doors for the last time. As of now we are no longer. The recession has another victim. A great club and an institution in Manchester for many many years is now only history."

Let's Take A Trip Down Memory Lane...

2010-04-12T23:42:00.002+01:00

While sometimes, granted, FUC51 likes to pick holes and be peevish just for giggles (and to be quite honest, we think that those we're poking fun at quite like it as most of the spats they used to have with rival bands and labels are things of dewy memory), sometimes people make it too easy for us.

Spotted and shared on the FUC51 Facebook page, we have been alerted to a gig at FAC251. And this is where you realise that the picture (above) and headline weren't amusing and ironic illustrations of nostalgia.

At Factory, on 1st October, you can spend an evening listening to Northside. How much? £12.50. Seems like a rip-off? The show finishes at 11pm and you can stay in the club to dance in the clubnight to 'I Am The Resurrection' and 'Step On'.

Don't believe us? Click here.

In other news, thank to the Weekender Blog for being exactly the opposite to us.

The Wretch Factor: Bez endorses missus

2010-04-12T23:29:00.000+01:00

"Three-time X Factor reject Emma Chawner and fiancee of Happy Mondays freaky dancer Bez, Monica Ward, were among those hoping to follow in the footsteps of last year's winner Joe McElderry."

MEN

Spotted!

2010-04-12T23:19:00.002+01:00

Which famous Mancunian rhythm section man was spotted in a Manc beer garden with a group of friends moaning about FUC51 and asking "Who the fuck is behind it?", prompting one pal to offer "Maybe it's someone you know?"

With friends like that...

Joy Diversion

2010-04-07T23:53:00.001+01:00

Wayhey!

Fnarr!

From the FUC51 Facebook Group

Roll up for the Mystery Tour

2010-04-05T12:44:00.006+01:00

Fuc was sent a link to this the other day - a 'Manchester music tour', courtesy of The Grauniad "...featuring special guest appearances and recollections from Mancunian music legends including Peter Hook (Joy Division/New Order), Mike Joyce (The Smiths) and Damon Gough (better known as Badly Drawn Boy).

A visit to the city's newest music venue (based in the old Factory Records office) will be thrown in for good measure, along with an exclusive performance by Manchester's best up and coming band, Performance."

Judging by the lineup Fuc bets a crisp tenner that you'll be starting out at Salford Lad's Club (which is in Salford, not Manchester), for a brief soliloquy from the Smith with the lowest appearance fee, before walking down Salford's fashionable Regent Road and proceeding to cross several bits of dual carriageway before arriving at the Hacienda apartments.

Here Mr Hook will take the reins and personally take you into the foyer to look at the plaque and yet another piece of the dancefloor - and possibly even read it to you, if you're lucky.

Mr Bainbridge (who should know better than this) will then whisk you away to Night and Day, where Mr Gough will perhaps regale you with a terrifying tale about how someone once nicked his bobble hat inside this very venue, only to return it a few days later. (Or maybe the one about not paying people who played on his massively-successful debut album - it's a corker)

Finally, on to the Factory club to sample one of their fantastic 2-4-1 booze offers - time to put your feet up and listen to "...an exclusive performance by Manchester's best up and coming band, Performance"

Wait a second - did the mayor of 2002 just ride into town? We remember Performance from er... back when Mr Bainbridge was at City Life funnily enough. 'Up and coming', eh? 8 years is a long time to hone one's 'sound'. The band bragged in a recent interview about how they refused to change their name at the label's request as it was 'undignified' - but, luckily for you, can disgregard their principles to tag along with this bullshit.

[With thanks to Tess H for the submission]

Now the party's over...

2010-04-04T02:16:00.010+01:00

Fuc was there.

Now the party's over, buy a t-shirt, commemorative pen, tea towel, giant pencil or trucker hat. Coffin commissions available on request.

Visit the FUC51 online t-shirt store

Several ultra-limited items available signed by Ian Curtis - £POA

Got an idea for a Fuc t-shirt? Email us and we'll make it for you. EVERYTHING'S for sale.

Who the Fuc? (reprise)

2010-03-29T12:23:00.002+01:00

A flurry of emails 'outing' Fuc51 have landed in our inbox of late (one even suggesting this was all an elaborate marketing campaign for Fuc251 itself, which if true would be mind-bendingly amazing).

The more boring truth is that Fuc is not any one person. A number of people have the login details, and the majority of our posts come from submissions from people in Manchester via our email address.

We'll leave you with the frightening news that "Gideon Conn has written a great world cup track with guest vocals from Clint Boon."

Rock Family Trees

2010-03-27T00:23:00.006Z

Jeremy Deller: 'The History of the World 1997-2004'

Elliot Eastwick: 'By the way, everyone, I played the last record'. Date unknown.

Pete Frame: 'Rock Family Trees' 1969 - late 70s

A row between Elliot and Urbis as to which came first was brought to Fuc's attention on Twitter
recently.

Which came first? More, why does it even matter?

Remember the Hindenburg

2010-03-26T20:41:00.009Z

This blog's gripe is as much with the continued perpetuation of tired Manc folklore as it is with the various cartoon characters that will continue to flog the same old horse, paying no mind to the fact that it was well and truly interred over a decade ago.

So, once again, we turn our attention to the Guardian's 'new bands' page. This time, they're featuring the band Airship. To lazily sum them up ourselves, they sound like everyband 90s American alt-rock. The Guardian can't help itself though. You see, Airship recorded their first demos in Macclesfield. Not just in Macclesfield, but in a warehouse in Macclesfield.

Quick, my article needs a hook. Can you think of anyone famous musically who's from Macclesfield? No, not Marion, no-one remembers them. Wait a minute... "...they continued to practise in this dingy, dank warehouse, dimly lit by a lightbulb dangling from a dirty ceiling, not dissimilar to the epically bleak, oppressive space immortalised in the video to Love Will Tear Us Apart"

Warehouse...Macclesfield... it's obvious really.

"They won't, they insist, be "donning black overcoats or contemplating suicidal thoughts to music journalists in the hope of shifting a few more records"

No, and why would they? Nowhere - apart from here, within this article written by Paul Lester (never afraid of a quick and lazy 'Dylan jamming stoned with a falsetto Beck' rock cliche) in the Grauniad, would anyone associate a band whose only crime is to have visited SK10 at some point to get some cheap studio time, with Joy Division.

[thanks to For Folk's Sake]

Bernard Speaks

2010-03-18T22:30:00.003Z

Fuc51 spotted this interview with Bernard Sumner from the excellent Quietus site by Jude Rogers yesterday, and the contrast with his ex-bandmate is stark. Bernard talks fairly candidly about some of the objects of Fuc's past ire, and it's refreshing to hear a faint air bemusement at it all. On Delphic, he mentions 'This ’80s revival is bit weird for me, because if I was to do a track that sounded like it was from that time, I’d get crucified!' - indeed.

We'll let the interview speak for itself. It's plainly obvious from it why Bernard isn't about to hit the road to play Unknown Pleasures to empty venues, or would ever sign his name to anything like this:

Love Will Tear Us Apart....again!
NOW a hit West End musical
featuring the songs of New Order and Joy Division
with Toby Anstis as Ian Curtis
Peter Kaye as Rob Gretton
Peter Hook as himself

(Be still, beating heart. It's not real. Yet.)

"Everyone dancing along Mr Curtis style"

2010-03-16T15:07:00.002Z

FUC51 received an invite to a gig on Facebook and, well... we'll let it speak for itself.

"on the 18th May 1980 the country lost a legend, to mark his life and music.. Boon Army Army bring you a very special night... TRANSMISSION THE ULTIMATE JOY DIVISION TRIBUTE BAND...

Devoted to recreating the atmosphere of a live Joy Division gig, Transmission emulate the sound of one of the most inventive, evocative and influential groups of their era. Joy Division were formed in the late 1970s and dissolved in May 1980 after the suicide of lead singer Ian Curtis.

The remaining members went on to form New Order and have achieved much critical and commercial success. The influence of Joy Division, however, was far reaching. They were considered the pioneering band of the post-punk movement of the late 1970s and early 1980s. More than 30 years on you can still relive the dark cavernous sound of Joy Division through Transmission one of the leading UK tribute bands.

Tickets are an absolute bargain at just £7 as we want this night rammed and everyone dancing along Mr Curtis style... So come down, reminisce and let the music live on..".

Unknown Depths

2010-03-16T13:16:00.003Z

We'll pass this over to the good people of the DJ History Forum.

Along with the speculation that we might see Norman Collier as vocallist for this exciting project, someone also points out that it's 'very odd to have a tribute with two of the original members boycotting it'. Yes, it is very odd. Very odd indeed.

Yes, it's for charity. Or some of it is, exactly how much isn't disclosed. Feel free to donate here and save yourself the bother.

"It was a nightclub, not the fucking Berlin wall"

2010-03-11T10:43:00.003Z

Fuc51 is about much more than the Hacienda, as we've detailed in previous posts. But with this kind of thing landing in the Fuc inbox almost daily how can we ignore it?

Imagine how many ltd. edition mousemats you could carve out of, say, a coffin?

(Thanks to Eddy R for the submission)

Pills, Thrills and Wedding Cake

2010-03-09T23:09:00.004Z

Here's a nice picture of Mr Ryder getting wed to some woman called Joanne. Note, the lovely haircut and fire extinguisher in the background.

Congratulations Shaun! Reception do at Hooky's new club?

(And, your captions please)

We wish them all the best, though for some reason the late Brookside actor Bill Dean springs to mind. Are they by any chance related?

[via]

The blind leading the blind

2010-03-03T10:08:00.008Z

Which Manc musician of yesteryear used to sign records with all the band members' names to make a few quid? The story goes that the person in question wandered into a record store many years ago and caught sight of one of these 'collectors items' up for sale for £200, and was soon signing everything in sight faster than you can say 'a licence to print money'.

FUC51 hears on the grapevine that there's an exhibition of 'recently unearthed memorabilia' of this band planned for later in the year. Could the two be related? Can you say 'pension plan'?

TV: Inside Out and Factory Records

2010-03-03T09:38:00.002Z

"Is Manchester caught in a Hacienda timewarp?" asks Oliver 'Tony Wilson's Son' Wilson.

Click here to watch the Inside Out show on iPlayer. Featuring Hooky, Pickering, Ryder, yadda yadda...

FAC are spying on you!

2010-03-03T09:33:00.003Z

This landed in the FUC51 inbox:

"Hello Fuc 51

I'm thoroughly enjoying and thanking the presence of your blog - entirely necessary.

I just thought I'd let you know that a number of us have started receiving text messages promoting events at Factory, yet we have absolutely no idea how they got our numbers nor how to unsubscribe to them. I presume they bought them or got them off other mailing and
promotion lists, but I've never received texts of this ilk before and neither has anyone else.

So not only do they believe their own hype, but they're spamming people to death for the privilege. We're trapped!"

£600 Book From Mr Hook

2010-03-03T09:23:00.002Z

There's been a fair few of you getting in touch about Peter Hook's latest product. What's that? It's a book that will cost you £600.

One irked reader said "Speaking as an ex-Hacienda attendee in the late 80's and also a Joy Division and New Order fan, I really do feel that Factory should be left in the past. It was great at the time, but the 50-somethings (in particular, Mr. Hook) should let the Factory mystique go. It was great 20 odd years ago, but not now. It's not helping any new bands out there. Imagine my dismay when I saw this - Hooky still milking it for what it's worth. A £600 edition of his Hacienda book....*groan*"

So what's in this thing? Well, it's a limited edition run of Hooky's 'The Hacienda: How Not to Run a Club'.

The press release says:

"Each hand bound boxed set of the book will include previously unpublished chapters, an exclusive vinyl record of tracks unavailable elsewhere, photographs of rare memorabilia and more."

"Two versions will be published a Regular Edition of 400 copies and a Deluxe Edition of 100 copies. All copies will be signed by Hooky, and genuine pieces of the bar and dance floor rescued by him from the Hacienda will be incorporated into the packages."

"The Deluxe edition will incorporate a holographic cover, an exclusive coloured vinyl 10" record, a numbered piece of the Hacienda's bar top and more"

When people rob graves, some cunt tends to die of some hex or mosquito bite... so we can only keep our fingers crossed that Hooky's cock falls off or something (we're not total animals).

This festival is sponsored by Mike and the Mechanics' 'Lookin' Back Over My Shoulder'

2010-03-03T09:15:00.003Z

Oh! Whoopee! The Warehouse Project hosting a festival at Platt Fields! So, who to expect? Well, on the 11th June we'll be given a forward thinking treat in the form of...

Ian Brown, Bad Lieutenant (which features New Order's Bernard Sumner), Haçienda DJ Mike Pickering, ex-New Order bass player Peter Hook (DJ set), and Factory deadbeats A Certain Ratio. Eastern Bloc alumni Mr Scruff will appear, along with Justin Robertson and a whole load of slightly balding thirtysomethings all asking for Es.

Can't Get Gerry and the Holograms Out of My Head

2010-02-20T20:49:00.005Z

A musical gift dropped into the Fuc51 inbox earlier today. In the words of its creator, 'they fitted together like greased cogs'. Fantastic.

Coming soon to the FAC251 dancefloor.

Can't get gerry and the holograms out of my head by Fuc51

(Thanks to D from Club Panda)

Goon Army UPDATED

2010-02-16T15:55:00.005Z

"You could say that Manchester has been hungover on hazy memories of the Hacienda, Morrissey, the Gallaghers and the like for too long... but let’s face it where Mad-chester left, Bland-chester took over. It’s little wonder that we clutch onto the memory and there’s no better place to do that than at South nightclub."

"[Clint Boon]'s completely in his element and it shows with every record that he plays. As he stands bopping in the box, each tune is delivered with love. Love for music. Love for real music- whatever the era. From the Stone Roses and Joy Division to the Happy Mondays, Oasis, New Order, Candi Staton and the Smiths - he works his way through the wonder years."

Lynda Moyo should be strung up and shot at.

Read the idiocy here

*UPDATE*

As someone in the comments rightly points out, the offending article has been removed by Manchester Inconsequential. Is that a victory for FUC51 we can smell?

*ANOTHER UPDATE*

And it seems to be back again, albeit it in an edited form. For fuck's sake. We've clearly touched a nerve.

In praise of Manchester

2010-02-15T13:52:00.004Z

Staggering.

Here's an article on Manchester that heaps praise on the city and doesn't once mention You Know What and You Know Who. Not a FAC number in sight!

Click here to read.

Make Up Yer Own Minds

2010-02-12T14:13:00.004Z

This landed in the FUC51 inbox:

"25 mins in. Hooky talking about the club and Haslam having a go at nostalgia and "old men telling young people what to do is the complete opposite of what pop music should be about" or something."

Click here to listen (iPlayer link)

Chump

2010-02-12T14:02:00.002Z

"Chimp Magazine is what Manchester's readers, advertisers, activists and artists have all been waiting for"

Apparently.

Only 10 issues old and they're already playing the '89 card. Seriously. It breaks down like this, issue by issue:

#1 Talking 808 State's Graham Massey
#2 Talking to Doves, formerly Sub Sub
#3 Stephen Morris on the cover
#4 Again, talking to Massey
#5 A reprieve
#6 Talking to Johnny Marr
#7 Hooky on the cover
#8 Bernard Sumner on the cover
#9 Poor ol' Delphic on the cover
#10 Ian Brown on the cover

It feels like it's only a matter of time before Shaun Ryder or Bez makes an appearance doesn't it? Having flicked through the mag, they're clearly not Madchester casualties, but it says a lot about the view of the city that one of their main hooks to get people buying the rag is to lean heavily on a scene that died many moons ago.

Click here to visit their website

Yet another resurrection

2010-02-12T13:59:00.006Z

More column inches saying, well, nothing at all. Play 'Manchester music bingo' with the piece and fill your card in a paragraph.
Freelance music journalists have to pitch for work. And Manchester's full of them - many with something genuinely positive to say about the city. Many of them probably find it a little irritating that another dull feature retreading the same old ground is going to be what the majority of outsiders see as going on here in 2010. This is over, well, the other 95% that's going on that's actually worthwhile.

(thanks to Andrew)

"You don't need to be Madchester to work here - but it helps"

2010-02-11T00:15:00.002Z

A quick link before bedtime: Danny McFadden's piece on 'Has Manchester Had Its Day?'

Who the Fuc?

2010-02-10T21:57:00.004Z

There are a lot of people asking who we are and where we're from.

Who FUC51 is isn't of importance. There is 'someone' behind the blog, but here at FUC51, we've also had hundreds of submissions from all manner of sources - people you've heard of and people you haven't. Attaching a single name doesn't seem right.

All you need to know is that FUC51 is based in Manchester.

Just what we all needed...

2010-02-10T14:17:00.002Z

We love Manchester. We really do. However, it's hard to feel the love when you see things like this. It's just what we needed wasn't it? Yet another Madchester night.

The idiots throwing this night say "Roll up, roll up. We're throwing a party in our basement, and you're all invited, bonzai! We've the lovely GARETH BROOKS (a man with a MySpace page with pictures of Ian Curtis and Ian Brown) supplying your ears with tunes, all things Indie, Electro, Classic."

What they should have said was "Take one step forward... then, lazily stumble backwards until you hit somewhere around 1989."

And on the 8th Day...

2010-02-10T12:57:00.013Z

The other day there was a big Manchester flareup on the popular gossip site Popbitch, some of it not far off what’s been said on FUC51. Amongst the usual maelstrom of expletives, poster ‘billy_squier’ made a few good points, which we reproduce below. Fuc51 for the most part agrees.

Here's a funny thing about Mancs, and this is completely without malice, believe it or not. For most of the 70s and 80s, Mancs used to enjoy sneering at Liverpudlians because of our supposed unwillingness to crawl out from under the shadow of the Beatles (well, they couldn't sneer about the football in those days, could they?) or our eagerness to turn Liverpool into a Beatles theme park. We'd never sell our city out like that, they'd say, conveniently overlooking the fact that, in order to "sell out", you need to have something people want to buy into. Which Manchester never really did. At least, not until it became ‘Madchester’. They'll never admit this, but it's true. That much-vaunted Mancunian civic pride manifested itself in all those ridiculously self-regarding "...And God Created Manchester" t-shirts, and for a short while the whole world seemed to revolve around the place in the way plenty of Mancs believe it still does.

Now, just because a few new bands are pissed off that they keep being asked questions about Joy Division (who were, relatively speaking, all but forgotten ten years ago), this supposedly represents a cushion held over the face of Manchester's cultural well-being? Congratulations, Mancs - you've finally caught up with Liverpool in 1981. The trick now is how to come to terms with the fact that, no matter how wonderful you think your city is, the only thing most outsiders will ever be interested in - apart from the football - is Madchester and its attendant peripherals. As is so often the case, Liverpool has already been there and done that. Plenty of Liverpudlians realised years ago that it may as well be them making money off the Beatles, just as Hooky is now grabbing the opportunity to finally make a few quid off the Hacienda. Anything good that emerges apart and away from all that in the meantime will surely rise - that's if it is any good. Personally, I'm just wondering if this perpetual 80s revival will ever fucking end.

The good usually DOES rise – in fact, one of Manchester’s last high hopes we remember were for Nine Black Alps, The Longcut and Polytechnic. They even shared a stage one giddy sell-out night at The Academy a few or more years ago. 3 Manchester guitar bands who didn’t sound like Oasis, who were at times genuinely exciting. We remember one hack trying to unsuccessfully shoehorn a New Order reference into a Longcut live review, but for the most part they were safe . Could this be it? (OK, NBA were grunge for those who were too young to remember, but bear with us here) – alas, no. A combination of terrible A+R decisions, amateur management ('go for the biggest advance you can, lads - I'm pretty sure you don't have to pay it back’) and just rotten bad luck mean that all three bands are presently a bit off-radar in the eyes of the outside world.

Where we’re at now – well, time to retreat back into the comfort zone. Joy Division ARE a cushion over the face, insomuch as The Whip and Delphic are comparatively easy to write about, if you chuck their name in the mix. Both bands filled the ‘can we get something New Ordery on here?’ slot on Kitsune comps and both will obligingly churn out something vaguely dancefloor-friendly whilst not presenting too much of a challenge to the ear. It’s almost impossible not to mention the 'J-word'. The PRs representing any band lucky enough to get to that stage of a career where they can afford a PR in a first place – well, PRs are not known for being great thinkers anyway - but if there’s a path of least resistance when they’re pitching a band, they’ll find it. ‘A bit Joy Division’ down the phone is always going to win over anything too polysyllabic. Thank fuck this crop of bands don’t need much explaining.

New bands? 'Well, with all this FAC251 stuff and 'Doubt' kicking around, our music pages are a bit full mate. I'm not going out on a fucking Tuesday either. Thanks for asking though'.

We disagree on ‘finally making a few quid off the Hacienda’ though. 20 years and counting.

Manchester Inconsequential

2010-02-09T17:39:00.003Z

Like reading drossfests that say "This happened, then this happened, then this happened, then I saw my old buddy and old pal and this happened! Then that happened! Then this happened as well! Backslapping! This happened after that happened!"

Ladies and gents, the Manchester Confidential write up of the opening night of FAC251! [here]

You'll love it. Seriously.

Thanks to 'Disappointed of M1' who spotted it.

From Hooky with love

2010-02-09T11:32:00.004Z

Someone claiming to be our Hooky sent us a message to the FUC51 inbox. Yessum, with a video as well. It's a trailer for FAC251 and we reckon he might be having a little joke with us seeing as it features music from the dark side... but wait! What's this? A punchline?

If it is who it claims to be and by which we mean, he's reading this blog, then do us all a favour sunshine and drop the whole Russian oligarch schtick. Dress like one by all means... but y'know?

"I used to be in a band"

2010-02-07T18:00:00.012Z

A lot of Fuc51's bilious rage has been directed at Mr Peter Hook, and he certainly has a lot to answer for when it comes to clinging onto those last few hours of time in the sun. 'Keyboard terrorists' we may be, but there it is in print - he admits that if you go to watch him DJ, you are guaranteed that around 50% of the records he plays will be 'that old ****'. (Nice tabloid-style starring out there, City Life - can your readers not handle swearing?)

Don't get us wrong, the problem doesn't begin and end with him, though in terms of fist-in-mouth cringe-inducing moments he is unequalled. Here he is on a 'walkabout' around Manchester with a Guardian sycophant in tow, informing a couple of young girls that he 'used to be in a band' (0:48). Watch it through your fingers. Watch it again. And again. Incredible. You can imagine him prowling the Northern Quarter in the early hours of a Sunday morning, telling anyone who'll listen.

Here he is musing on the opening of FAC251 in the Oldham Advertiser. Ignoring the usual 'We, as the Hacienda' remarks, he also opines "I'd like to think Tony would approve of what we're doing here". It's like Bush's divine justifaction for invading Iraq. If you can convince yourself Tony would have approved, you can open whatever poorly-thought-out revivalist temple of the mediocre you like.

With all due respect for Tony Wilson, towards the end he was releasing records by the likes of these Collyhurst scamps (Sample lyric: 'We're the Young Offenders / Working class pretenders / Always out on benders') - no, they were not a 'comedy' band - it could be said that his quality control was a little out. Whether he'd have approved or not is irrelevant. Peter, go on another walkabout of the Northern Quarter and do a quick straw poll of young people you meet (after dropping into conversation that you used to be in a band, of course) - ask them if they approve. They couldn't care less.

(Thanks to David and Phill for the submissions)

It's Fac-ing time to dust off your twat threads!

2010-02-05T14:05:00.002Z

TONIGHT! IT'S ALL GOING TO GO OFF! LIKE THIS! FAC251 IS GO!

Overheard

2010-02-03T11:05:00.002Z

This landed in the FUC51 inbox:

Overheard last night outside Jabez Clegg, spoken by one of those girls with an annoying Southern accent and a speech inflection whereby everything sounds like a question...

"I'm going to Fac251 on Friday? Its like this club yeah? The Hacienda? But like it shut down yeah because nobody bought any of their drugs?"

I don't know what they are teaching them at University these days.

I picked up a flyer for Fac251 as well, looks like Mani has got a weekly Djing residency there. Who could have seen that one coming?

Lumping 'em all in.

2010-02-03T10:42:00.004Z

The Guardian. They're a real bunch of idiots sometimes. More than any other newspaper, they're happy to keep parping on about half a dozen bands from Manchester because, clearly, when dealing with a new artist from/living in the city, the easiest thing to do in the world is to toss a coin and say They Sound Like Joy Division/They Sound Like The Stone Roses.

With new act LoneLady, who has made a really rather brilliant debut LP called 'Nerve Up', they are at it again. Now, to anyone with ears, one listen to 'Nerve Up' and you walk away thinking "what a great pop album!" It's direct and has massive choruses. There's no getting away from it. It's definitely a pop album.

Granted, LoneLady makes the kind of racket that sounds like Siouxsie Sioux has teamed up with Tina Weymouth and XTC under the remit of trying to make a proper pop album, and brilliantly, succeeding against all the odds.

However, the Guardian's profile [here] has gone straight to the filing cabinet marked 'Manchestoh' and stated giddily "...She comes from Manchester, only the Manchester of Ian Curtis not Ian Brown, the dark, dour, post-punk Manchester of shadowplay and doubts-even-here, not the bright, Day-Glo Madchester version of the city. She's signed to Warp, a great label, but she would have fitted in quite nicely – nervously – on Factory, and she's got the darkly lit artily monochrome press shots to prove it," before adding "Martin Hannett would have done wonders with her itchy, scratchy guitar pop".

Okay. We get it. WE GET IT. Here's to hoping for a time when people look at an act from Manchester and finally cast their glances around an entire world of influences that the people of Manchester actually listen to. I wonder if people who have never stepped a foot in Manchester think that all our record shops are filled with only releases from Madchester bands and Factory-approved outfits?

You could be forgiven if you thought that every single fucking time you read about a new act in the city.

[With thanks to James who brought this to FUC51's attention]

Manchester Music Museum

2010-02-02T12:42:00.003Z

A FUC51 reader sent us a link to the inbox about a Facebook group called Let's build the MANCHESTER MUSIC MUSEUM - the time is right ! [here]

Only a fool would deny Manchester's rich musical heritage... whoever, the main reason that a Manchester Music Museum wouldn't work is because, by and large, the city is already a boring museum exhibit dedicated to Madchester. Walk around the Northern Quarter and look at your feet and there, you'll see tribute to a small handful of bands in the paving stones who either knew or worked for Tony Wilson.

It seems that, when the Sex Pistols played the Free Trade Hall and accidentally kick-started a musical 'revolution' in Manchester, the message that really resonated with Those That Were There was the line "no future, no future for you, no future for me...".

A waste of FUC-ing oxygen

2010-02-01T14:50:00.009Z

Look what slopped into the FUC51 inbox this morning.

Of course it's naive to suggest that none of the triumvirate of cunts with a hand in the new FAC251 venture would be unable to call the odd favour in from a mate over at the Evening News, but seriously - a churnalistic, unquestioning article on the most ripe-for-pisstake venture in Manchester's living memory?

Let's pass the mic to uncle Peter.

"As an older musician now, I feel I do have a responsibility to propagate the new bands, to keep things going in Manchester.

"We, as the Hacienda, get a lot of criticism for trading on the past, but with this place it's all about the future, giving young kids the chances to perform."

Is that right? Ignoring the Factory catalogue number on the front door, here's the opening night's lineup, featuring an 'exclusive' performance by no other than:

"...Peter Hook, former Stone Roses bass player Mani and ex-Happy Monday Rowetta".

So that's 2 bass players, and the backing singer from the Happy Mondays. Together. At last. There's a particular chamber of hell where you can listen to 7 bass players and the rest of the Happy Mondays, in perpetuity. All on whizz. It's free in as well down there, instead of £22.50.

To badly paraphrase Orwell: "if there's hope, it lies in our badly-paid regional journalists" - next time you're dished up such an easy target, consider giving shorter shrift to such a tired idea. Despite all its flaws, the now-defunct City Life occasionally managed it.

While you're thinking about it, why not find another way to write about new music from the city without lazily consulting the same 3 bands as reference point. The city will thank you for it.

The problem with Delphic is not Delphic

2010-01-30T15:47:00.002Z

Whether FUC51 likes Delphic or not is a moot point.

Their music is of little consequence in the problem of Manchester. They're a group trying to get ahead in the pit-of-sharks that is The Music Industry. They've got noticed and good for them.

So where is the problem? Well, it's everyone that surrounds them, clearly. It's the hacks who write about them. Even Delphic themselves have acknowledged the problem they - and the whole of Manchester as a city - face.

In an interview with the BBC:

How much does Manchester influence your music?

"We're very proud of Manchester but we were inspired by what we didn't like in Manchester, and that was Manchester refusing to move on. We felt it was in danger of drowning under its heritage. We wanted to help it look forward and were sick of the Madchester stereotypes."

It seems that, really, Delphic are a bunch of kids wishing they were in Kraftwerk. Yet, they're faced with the unrelenting barrage of Madchesterisms. People with clipboards from focus groups and pointless hacks with digital dictaphones saying "Go on... say Joy Division! Say stuff about the Hacienda! Give us something we understand!"

You see, it just wouldn't do for a Mancunian band to be influenced by any band outside the Manc ring-road. If Delphic said 'we like Krautrock, Tropicalia and Andalusian folk music and nothing else', it wouldn't stop saps piling on the corpses of Madchester on their bony little shoulders.

Whilst it is understandable that the management and PRs of the band would want to use whatever underhand trick they have at their disposal to get their proteges noticed, you'd hope that they'd at least share their band's wish to avoid such monumental laziness and short-sightedness?

Madchester Pleasure Beach

2010-01-29T16:24:00.001Z

Quoted, verbatim from this forum:

"...middle aged arseholes in the press managed to turn liverpool into a beatlesthemepark for the past 40 years, they're doing the same thing again to manchester. unless you're in your 40s and writing for q magazine you should be railing against all this shit, not shuffling your feet saying 'um its ok cos theres no good new bands, might as well just give up on the city and let the hookmobile raze it to the ground and rebuild it as madchester pleasure beach"

Theme Park

2010-01-29T15:58:00.004Z

Visit Palmashofu

Click to make bigger

Do Look Back In Anger

2010-01-29T12:52:00.002Z

The Guardian, one of the biggest culprits in the continual shoving of Madchester in people's snouts, have been talking about Manchester's new music scenesters (here).

Every new band is immediately lumped in with those that surrounded Factory. Even in an article about the Chorlton beardfolkies, they couldn't resist the acid house angle (here).

Pathetic.

And now, in this new piece, which can't help itself from mentioning New Order, Happy Mondays and Joy Division, we're met with Egyptian Hip Hop, who say:

"None of us like that old Manchester stuff... It's so overplayed, and it gets forced at you just because you're from Manchester. You're expected to like it, but people need to move on. I'm sick of people dwelling on the past. The new Manchester bands are sick of it, too, and want to change things."

Bravo! And a pat on the back for your appalling taste in clothes!

Twitter

2010-01-28T22:44:00.001Z

FUC51 is now on Twitter.

To follow, hurl abuse or spout off about 'Technique' being the greatest LP ever made, regardless of the point trying to be made here, visit http://twitter.com/fuc51

Ready Reckoner

2010-01-27T01:05:00.003Z

Seeing as an association with Mancunian bands, not necessarily good, is de rigueur for many bands from within a certain ring-road always tends to gravitate to one small pocket of Wilson...

Don't worry. Help is at hand. If you're young, you've been hoodwinked into thinking that Manchester only spawned groups from the baggy period and Factory Records. Even Oasis had a songwriter who was a roadie for the Inspiral Carpets.

Here's a list of other Manc' bands you can use as throwaway influences:

The Hollies, The Bee Gees, Herman's Hermits, Wayne Fontana and The Mindbenders, Freddie and the Dreamers, Barclay James Harvest, 10cc, Cleopatra, Autechre, Lamb, Davy Jones, The Purple Gang, Jim Noir, Sad Cafe, Slaughter and the Dogs, Take That, the Hallé Orchestra, Victor Brox, Sirconical, Sam and the Plants...

...and there's a whole load more. Feel free to add your own. Unless you're a lazy twat, in which case, just say 'Stone Roses' or 'Joy Division'.

Pure Delphic gold

2010-01-26T18:19:00.008Z

Picture a large-windowed meeting room in Hammersmith, late 2009. In its centre is a large, expensive-looking wooden table, and around it sit a gaggle of people with various roles that we'll come to in a minute. Why are we all here? Well, today we're going to talk about Manchester's brightest hopes Delphic.

Let's introduce everyone. Him in the horn-rimmed specs is label marketing guy, next to him there's the slightly less important label guy, to his left there's telly plugger bloke, woman on the Blackberry next to him is radio woman, those two over there are the digital agency, and then there's the people that buy the ads and whatshername from the offline PR company.

What follows is a kind of mutual glans-teasing - we go round the table, and everyone shares their initial thoughts on this Serious new band we've all got on our hands after last year's tenure with the Cool French Label. Radio woman mentions she schmoozed some fella from the Beeb recently and handed him a stack of CDs. He's been a fan for a while, 'bit New Order-y, really trades on the heritage. A/B list for sure. On the list for 2010, yeah?'.

Telly bloke's little slot is basically 'namedrop as much as fucking possible until you run out of feasible names'. It's all Wossy this and Jools that and oh fuck knows, has he stopped fucking talking yet? 'Ticks boxes. New Order, Manc attitude. Uncompromising. Fuck yeah. Fuck.'

Offline lass has been mailing out promos for the big 2010 push, along with a press release loosely thrown together with you-couldn't-make-it-up cliches such as 'Northern sulphuric spirit', and 'from the city that brought you....'. This is signed off by the label in hours as, despite occuring 20 years after them being relevant, the merest mention of New Order in association with a Manchester band equals 'they know what they're getting'.

This continues for another half hour or so - what is said is not important, it essentially involves reducing everything down to base level, stimulating to climax and dishing out a few more meaningless soundbites for everyone to take home and half-remember next time they're on the phone to some poor unfortunate who was only phoning the office to chase an invoice.

Craft an image all you like, write as many meaningless press releases as you want. A few throwaway phrases from this meeting have now become your calling card amongst people who matter. You're the 'Bloc Party with a keyboard', the 'Kitsune New Order'. And it doesn't help that you actually sound like a 3rd-rate New Order either.

Fast forward until the excreable 'ones to watch' lists for 2010 appear, and sure enough, we're on them. Time to really ramp up the meaningless, fawning hyperbole that only a New Manc Sensation can attract. Insist you're too young to have heard 'Blue Monday', profess you were raised on Nirvana, whatever. You've got a keyboard and we're going to wheel out the usual, sunshine. Let's not tax anyone with any names they don't recognise.

Of course, New Mancunia can only exist when coupled with a relevant partner from the past.

You like a bit of a widdle on the guitar?
Obviously you're 'Channelling Vini Reilly's Durutti Column at their creative peak'.

Drummer a bit busy?
'The bare soul of Donald from ACR shimmers at the side of the stage, nodding approvingly like a jazz-funkual Yoda'

Bought a keyboard?
'New Order's 'Technique' given an icy glance across the frozen wastes of time'

Let's sit back and digest some of this first-hand. Delphic are due to play at Manchester's Islington Mill sometime soon. You can read the listing here: Delphic Live! @ Islington Mill

Have a read of the blurb for Delphic, as written by the promoters. No-one's even fucking trying. It's from the same yellowing 'Manc 101' music Thesaurus Pete Robinson left in the shell of the Pleasure offices after he'd spunked the last of Rob Gretton's money 10 years ago.

Which is a shame, as there's always been decent bands from Manchester, indeed there are now, but this is just lazy 'good old days' reminiscence, nicely dovetailing with the wince-inducing appearance of the FAC251 club. It's the done thing. And it seems like it'll never go away.

"Delphic, a four-piece who rose about a year ago out of the ashes of briefly hyped Manc band Snowfight In The City Centre, are very much a celebration of 80s Manchester. And we definitely mean when New Order's futuristic disco pop ruled the waves and waived the rules - as opposed to 90s Manchester, when Oasis and the Roses made a virtue out of going back to chirpy harmonies and conservatively deployed guitar, bass and drums.

So Delphic are looking back to a period when white guitar bands refused to look back. But it's a welcome form of nostalgia, and one that's being given a contemporary kick because they emerge, coincidentally but fortuitously, just as New Order's back catalogue - that decade's most impressive body of work (the Smiths and Prince included) is being reissued and re-evaluated by the music monthlies. Their song titles - Doubt, Counterpoint - are very New Order while some sound so New Order-esque we're perilously close to Oasis-do-the-Beatles karaoke territory: one track, Submission (you can just see that word in some elegant Peter Saville font), has the plangent, trebly bass sound - that could also pass for a deep, mournful guitar sound - of New Order's Brotherhood album."

Christ.

New New Order... or Bad Lieutenant make an album

2010-01-14T22:56:00.004Z

Here's a review from a while back...

Okay. What we have here is the new project from New Order's Bernard Sumner. This new grooop is called Bad Lieutenant and the album is called 'Never Cry Another Tear'. If my suspicions are right, this could be a very short review.

Right. First off, let's get the review out of the way for the New Order nuts out there who like everything they've done. Yes, this LP sounds pretty much like a New Order album. 'Sink or Swim', the first single sounds like it could have been on 'Republic'. Okay? Now go away. We've got a proper review to be getting on with.

"1993 was a special time for me..."

There's always been something kinda charming about Barney's rubbish lyrics. Famous New Order hits have pretty much been unified by his almost childlike approach to writing. Things haven't changed one bit... he sings, without any trace of irony "I'm gonna take you higher" and "I can't come back so hit the road, Jack". One of the most telling lines is the one in bold, above. I mean, c'mon.

Anyway, this LP ain't so much a new lease of life for Sumner... no no no... this is a proper new project. This isn't like those Electronic records he made with Johnny Marr whilst New Order members were all scowling at each other for the millionth time. This is a clean break, which effectively means writing songs that sound like New Order with some Doves thrown in for good measure.

If Sumner is covering the New Order angle (and let us be honest with each other here... Bernard is still the best New Order style vocalist on the planet) then new singer and writer, Jake Evans, who contributes to the LP in spades, is bringing the sound of Doves. Basically, he sounds just like Doves singer Jimi Goodwin.

Both of these ingredients will invariably thrill those Mancunians who are obsessive about the music made in the city by white men and their guitars. There's a grey cloud that hangs over Manchester in the form of Factory records and The Stone Roses. Sure, there's a whole host of great music that emanated from those two seismic points... but it's clear that there are many who refuse to let their icy grip go of those days, brought about by an intense, borrowed nostalgia that is believed so much that the lies have turned into truth.

This LP, while a perfectly reasonable listen, cements the view that Manchester is still stuck in the early '90s. Even Doves, who arrived long after that, had their feet firmly stuck in the comedown fug of the Roses at their gloomiest/ethereal [delete as applicable] and, let us not forget... they were making music as Sub Sub back then.

Fact is, this LP is a middle aged Madcunian's wet-dream. It ticks a revivalists boxes at every turn and sure, you can argue that segments sound a bit more modern and forward thinking... but the thought that those more progressive moments should be brought with a realisation that it is in fact, borrowing heavily from more recent Chemical Brothers LPs, who funnily enough, were in Manchester in the early '90s as students.

The sound of '90s Manchester is preprogrammed into the DNA of 90% of the music that emerges from the M60, which in the case of Bernard Sumner, you can't really expect anything else as he's a man who actually was in there, way back when, in a very entertaining and, at times, innovative band or two. However, if you're looking for something new and fresh, you won't find it here. By virtue of the fact that you're interested in a new Bernard Sumner LP it's more than likely that you're not looking for something new and exciting.

Fair enough... I just think Manchester has more to offer than this LP

Blueprint Monday

2010-01-14T16:51:00.005Z

Of course, no Manchester blog would be complete without mentioning the song that started it all, the biggest 12" of all time, it's our 'Ferry Across the Mersey' - the moment you hear the bassline kick in, it's the unmistakable sound of er... Manchester's Gerry and the Holograms.

This came out in 1979, 4 years before Blue Monday.

Of course, that chord progression isn't copyrighted, and I'm sure it's easy enough to come up with if you give an infinite amount of monkeys an infinite amount of time, it's even possible New Order never even heard it. Extra points to Gerry and the Holograms for not dining out on this one for the following 35 years though.

From Manchester With Love...

2010-01-14T15:50:00.003Z

Here is a new club idea. Peter Hook and pals get together to open a club called FAC251. As you can see from the above screengrab, there's a slight problem with this 'new project'... essentially, it's an idea that Peter Hook had years ago and wrote a book about called 'How Not To Run A Club'.

Even an idiot could tell you the whole tracklist for a Friday night in this staggering shit-hole.

Click here to visit the website

Delphic: New band, same old problem

2010-01-14T15:45:00.002Z

Doing things differently tends to mean looking beyond your doorstep and not being yet another Manc grave robber.

FUC51: An introduction of sorts

2010-01-14T15:33:00.003Z

Manchester will have you believe it is a forward thinking city. A Northern Republic standing up against the tide of Londoncentric nonsense. However, what Manchester fails to realise that it cannot ever move forward because it is so determined to rest on recent history.

While slating Liverpool for being a Beatle-museum, Mancs are still pretending it's 1988. Look around the city and you're given constant reminders of Factory Records, The Hacienda, The Stone Roses, The Smiths, Acid House, NewOrderJoyDivision and... you get the idea.

Our aim is to act as snipers to this relentless wave of borrowed nostalgia that continues to make stars of Madchester hangers-on and people steeped in yesteryear. We'll tear the memory to pieces, we'll show you where Manchester is getting it right, we'll harangue all that wallow in yellow and black hatchings and those that rifle the pockets of Wilson's corpse.

Manchester is a joke and has been irrelevant for too long. The rot stops now.