Monday, 31 May 2010

You won't FUCing believe your poor, poor ears

Sometimes, there are no words. None. Some things are so fucking mindfuckingly woeful that you're resorted to baffled, stunned, pre-sick watery silence. So with that, we'll hand over to The Complete Stone Roses to tell you all about their cover of 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' featuring Clint Boon and Hooky. Yes. You read all of that correctly.

"This is the music promo video for a re-worked cover version of legendary "Joy Division/New Order" song "Love Will Tear Us Apart" performed and recorded by Scottish tribute band "The Complete Stone Roses" Special guests on the recording which took place at "Parr Street Studios" in Liverpool (Coldplay, echo & the bunnymen etc) are "Peter Hook" and "Clint Boon" and the track was also co-produced by "Hooky" with "the completes" band members and management.

This song will be available [and you can fuck off if you think we're giving you details of how to buy it, even if it IS for charity].

Watch and weep (and be sure to click through to the video and read some of the hilarious comments. Props to the 'Nickelback' commenter)

Saturday, 29 May 2010

What's hot in May 2010

A guest post today from a new contributor to Fuc. Name supplied.

This month's copy of "Britain's largest circulating music magazine" The Fly has a great little roundup of what's hot up here right now - be sure to have a look at who our Manchester Regional Correspondent has decided to highlight - that's right, four unassuming young lads from Burnage have been featured as 'album of the month'- let's just hope this much-needed exposure gives them the career lift they need.

See also this month's recommended gig - 'Ian Brown'. Excellent. So on a platform that could potentially be read by over 100,000 people nationwide (if you believe their stats), we tell Britain that the city is fuuuuucckking buuuuzzzing about another Oasis' greatest hits album, and the eagerly-anticipated "Manc bravado" sure to be provided by Ian Brown. Keep up the good work, Kelly Murray.

Thursday, 27 May 2010

Last time we bought Mojo, The Beatles were on the cover

Fuc spoke to Mojo recently for a piece about Manchester. It's in the July issue, the one with Pet Soun Dark Side of Th Tom Waits on the cover.

If even the heritage mags are looking forward now, then maybe we're winning. The unabridged interview follows over the jump.

Spike Island: 20th Anniversary

Did you know that it is the 20th anniversary of The Stone Roses Spike Island gig today? Yep. 27th May 1990 is when the world's most disappointing mini festival took place which saw people faced with a thousand hours of DJs and people shouting "MVITA! Manchester Vibes In The Area!" from the mouths in their round little sun-burned heads (apart from those in Reni sunhats of course).

Over to the words of Everett True, writing for the Melody Maker at the time:

"So today’s show – and it’s plusses an minuses – doesn’t matter. It’ll have been enough for The Stone Roses to have said they played in front of 28,000 people, it’ll be enough for the faithful to be able to wear their “Spike Island: 1990” tee-shirts and announce, “I was there when Manchester vibes were full on in the area”."

All he missed was the fact that half of Manchester would be saying it for the next 20 years. Anyway, here are some children re-enacting that fabled weekend in a fashion much more entertaining and enthusiastic than the performance given by The Stone Roses on the day itself. Feel free to wallow in nostalgia Mockunians.

Friday, 21 May 2010

Get Your Hopes Up (Win, Win, Win)

Seriously. What in fuck's name is this? If you can think of a worse World Cup song than this, including the dreadful 'We're On The Ball', then you're off-your-fuuuuuckinnnng-tiiiiits-maaaan.


Oooh! It's nearly time!

There's a festival on the curry mile and there's music and fun to be had! Hang on. What's this? Just how many Manclichés are there? Lets see: Ian Brown of The Stone Roses (CHECK!); Sumner playing with Bad Lieutenant formerly of Joy Division and New Order (CHECK!); Peter Hook (CHECK!); Mike Pickering and Justin Robertson of Hacienda fame (CHECK!); A Certain Ratio, who were signed to Factory (CHECK!); Mr Scruff of Eastern Bloc P45 (CHECK!).

We wouldn't be surprised if Clint Boon is the master of ceremonies on the day as well!

It is obvious that Manchester could be improved greatly by dropping a slab of concrete the exact width and breadth of Platt Fields on Friday 11th of June. We'll have to sacrifice some ducks in that boating lake thing, but in war, innocents will always die.

That, or we can simply thrill at the fact that everywhere else in Manchester on the night won't be filled with pot-bellied fortysomethings requesting 'Step On' as they'll all be reliving imagined glory years when UNKLE finally take to the stage to play the hip-hop equivalent of watery yoghurt.

Seriously though, if you are going, don't forget to make up alternative lyrics for that simian twat's 'F.E.A.R.' like "Formulaic egocentric ape rocker, fellating everyone after Reading96." And take sun-cream.

(Our tips: Catch Unabombers / Krysko / Now Wave and El Diablos, then get the fuck out of there)

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Elevating the dead over the living

30 years have gone by, as good a time as any to get a hack to write another hagiographic puff piece. Or just dig out the one you rehash every few months in the paper.

Does no-one matter until they're dead? [(c) Fugazi] - If we were Performance's press guy we'd be weighing up our options.

It'll be 31 years next year, 32 after that. Plenty more reminiscing to be done, more articles like this one to be written, despite any emotional impact they may have had having been diminished years ago, thanks to the revival industry. Big things planned for the 35th we hear. And the 40th.

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Unbelievable! Not a sniff of Madchester in sight!

It is not impossible. Honestly, you press cunts really can write about what is going on in Manchester without wheeling out tired old lines about 'rave' and the imagined 'spirit' of a dwelling.

So a big hats off to CreativeTourist who have written an article about 5 festivals going on in Manchester without once resorting to dribbling on about 'the glory days'.

Click here to read an article that effectively says 'here's a load of great stuff going on in Manchester concerning a load of bands that aren't necessarily from Manchester because Mancs, like anyone from any other city like to listen to music from all over the world'.

*doffs cap*

Why don't we go Fuc ourselves?

Ha ha ha! This is brilliant! A Facebook page has been set up called FUCFUC51.

Their/his/her mandate is this:

"We are interested in anything good and positive for Manchester music. We are NOT like the desperate negative fools of the faceless FUC51.You wont be hearing the needy outpourings of a bitter wannabe on here.

"why can't it be meeeeeeeee that manchester is talking about"...'cos your a nerdy little dweeb and if you actually had the courage of your convictions you wouldn't post your ill-informed shite under a cloak of anonymity.

Lets keep it all good, after all, it's only a facebook page."

Click here and pay them a visit.